Example: Repairing an old car

At this point in your life, you may be learning to drive for the first time or have been driving for a while, so you're probably fairly familiar with a car. You could say that your car has its own personality. It probably has little habits-like a certain way it drives-and little problems, too. Perhaps the car you drive is run-down and ugly but you cleaned it up and made some repairs; you may have even added a sound system or a new paint job. You probably learned to do many of these things yourself. You may have paid a mechanic to work on the car, replacing parts, doing a tune-up, or adding some improvements like a new steering wheel or speakers. The basic car did not change-the car has the same purpose it did to begin with; that is, to drive you around. But the improvements will help you to enjoy the car a lot more than when you first bought it.

Like the car, you don't have to change your whole personality to improve the way you relate to other people. Like your car, you do have to start to notice the things you might want to change. You can learn how to fix or change ways to communicate or ask someone to help. You can feel better, just as your car drives better. You can reduce the chance you will have a problem like depression.

The first step is to have a social “tune-up.”