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Calm, cool, and collected works

Speaking directly works

The talking style most likely to solve problems and build strong relationships is the calm, cool, and direct approach. This means listening to what the other person has said, and then clearly and directly telling the person how you feel and what you want. You can walk away knowing that you said what you (and probably the other person, too) needed to say. You are unlikely to stay angry. The other person will feel better about working things out with you.

Speaking calmly works

Even if you're upset, it's better to hold your temper back a bit. You want the other person to hear you. He or she is more likely to listen to you when you're not so angry. Being hostile makes it hard for other people to listen to what you have to say. Think of when a microphone or a radio has static-it interferes with the words and sounds. Intense emotions that are accusatory and angry are like static that keeps you from being heard.

Speaking cooly works

This means definitely telling the other person what's bothering you and what hurt your feelings. When you state your case, you should tell him or her how you see it. However, don't make accusations and try not to be angry.