One of the most important parts of the CAB method is recognizing that negative underlying beliefs don't always make sense and that you don't have to accept them as truth. They only make it harder for you to accomplish your goals. While they might have a little bit of truth to them, they are too negative. More than anything else, they're unhelpful; there's no way that having negative underlying thoughts will help you get or become anything you want.
In a way, it doesn't matter if a really negative belief has some truth to it or not, because they prevent you from getting better. For example, even if you're not the best at math, constantly thinking to yourself, “I'm bad at math” doesn't help you: it doesn't help your mood and it doesn't help you get better at math. Instead, thinking, “I'm not naturally great at math but I can improve if I work hard at it,” is more helpful and can help you better achieve your goals.
Here are some common negative underlying beliefs and possible counter-thoughts:
|
Negative underlying belief |
Possible counter-thoughts |
|
“I'm ugly.” |
“Most people feel self-conscious about the way they look and besides, beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes!” |
|
“No one likes me.” |
“Not everyone is my friend, but I do have a lot of people who love and care about me. Besides, there are a lot of people out there; when I meet more people, I'll make more friends.” |
|
“I'm a failure.” |
“I'm bound to fail at some things, but the more things I try, the more things I'll succeed at.” |
|
“I'm stupid.” |
“I can't be good at everything, but I am good at a lot of things, and in the future I'll find even more things that I'm good at. I'll concentrate on those things and get really good at them.” |
|
“This situation is hopeless.” |
“Nothing is ever hopeless. There’s always a chance for things to get better. With the help of my family, friends, teachers, and others I can get through this rough time and become stronger and better than before.” |