Relax

Relax or calm yourself using some way that helps you to relax (such as counting to 10, going to another room or going for a walk, waiting until the next day, etc.). Don't try to solve the problem while you are angry or upset.

Identify the problem

Be specific. Decide what part of the problem is yours. Don't take on somebody else's problems. Think of what you can control and what you can't.

Brainstorm

Let yourself think of all possible solutions to the problem. Even if they seem ridiculous or silly, consider them. Write down each possible solution. It sometimes helps to do this with someone.

Evaluate each possible solution

Think of the positive and the negative consequences for each possible solution.

Yes to one

Choose one solution and say “yes” to it in your mind. Choose the solution with the most positives if possible.

Encourage

Congratulate yourself for having made a decision. Put your decision into practice and evaluate how it works. If it turns out to have been a mistake, you can learn from it and re-do the problem solving to come up with a better solution. If it turns out well for you, congratulate yourself again and take credit for it.