How do I deal with situations that make me uncomfortable?

One of the biggest obstacles to building relationships can be “low frustration tolerance” (LFT). This means that a person can't achieve the goals that s/he wants because s/he is easily frustrated when things go wrong and gives up too easily. It can be hard for all of us to do something the first time, whether it's talking to somebody new or taking a first big test in a class. Many people tend to avoid new situations, but you can overcome those barriers through your training. Even if it's hard sometimes to do something the first time, it's just as true that the more you do something, the easier it will be to do it.

For example: The scientist who first described low frustration tolerance, Dr. Albert Ellis, had a problem meeting women to date. So he made himself go to the park every day for 100 days and each day ask a different woman out on a date. By the 100th day, he was completely comfortable talking to women.

You don't have to do anything that extreme, but the point is as we gain experience, we learn that new situations aren't as uncomfortable as they might originally seem. The answer for how to deal with uncomfortable situations is simple: Keep putting yourself in these kinds of situations until they aren't uncomfortable anymore. It may sound strange, but it works.

Here are a few tricks you can use to reduce LFT:

There are other helpful strategies for dealing with stressful situations or thoughts, including: planning for the situation, not responding to stressful negative thoughts, changing the situation, and using the CAB method, and using the “Ribeye” model which you’ll learn about in this module.