How can I find patterns in my relationships?

The first thing you can do is to think in detail about your relationships. This process is about more than just you or just the other person; it's about the relationship itself. When two people grow close, their relationship becomes a complex thing with good and bad sides. So instead of just thinking about the other people in your life or just thinking about yourself, the goal here is to think about the patterns and habits in your relationships.

There are spaces for your family, your close friends, friends who you see less often, and other people who you know. List the people in each group, then add the strengths of your relationships with those people and the parts of those relationships you would like to improve. Your strengths might include enjoying spending time with them, how they help you during bad times, or other things important to you. Here's an example that focuses on the family part of a chart: