Step One: Getting un-“stuck”

Sometimes relationship problems go nowhere for a long time. You may not know what's really wrong; you just know that you're upset. As far as solutions are concerned, you're either working it out, stuck, or ending the relationship. The goal of these steps is to help you move your options from “stuck” to “working it out” so you're not just angry and not making any progress with the relationship. However, if all your best efforts at finding a solution fail, you may decide to end (or take a break from) the relationship.

Being stuck tends to get people down. We generally feel disappointed with relationships when they're stuck and eventually lose interest. Over time, these feelings can spiral into depression. When you become stuck it's often because of a communication problem. It's likely that this way of communicating has led to similar situations before. The key is to use each situation to figure out what you're doing that's keeping you stuck. If you change what keeps you stuck, you'll be less likely to make the same mistake again, which makes you stronger and increases your resiliency.