Keeping a relationship diary

Earlier in these modules you looked at the support offered by your close relationships. Watching your relationships carefully-keeping a relationship diary-can help you learn a lot about how you communicate with other people. To get started on using your relationship diary follow these tips.

• Choose a relationship and pay attention to how it works day by day. Look at your beliefs about yourself, the other person, and how the two of you get along, and record any thoughts you have about your relationship.
• For the next week, record the arguments and the good times you have with the other person in your relationship. Record all the related information in your relationship diary: what you said and did, what the other person said and did, how you felt, etc.
• After a week, go back and reread your diary. What patterns do you notice? Are they good (helpful) or bad (unhelpful) patterns?
• Think about the sorts of relationship conflicts you've had and solutions to those conflicts. The solution can be specific, like apologizing for leaving your room messy, or general, like learning to listen during an argument instead of interrupting.
• Try out your solutions the next time you have a conflict and record how it goes.
• Finally, remember what you learned from the other modules. The more ways you can look at your problems, the more potential solutions there are.